Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Is your refrigerator running . . . because I think I might vote for it

 Shamlessly stolen from reddit r/jokes

For the first time since I was 18, I have no idea for who to vote. With the exception of Ron Paul, I have always voted Libertarian. But in this bizarre election even the libertarian candidate is, well, he's kind of an idiot. 

Regardless, of your thoughts on vaccinations, anyone can see that this is not the libertarian view.
So what else does he not understand about freedom?

I can't stop thinking of the pussies, dicks and assholes speech from Team America; World Police and how accurately it the describes this election's three candidates. 

In this case Gary Johnson is, of course, the pussy, Hilary Clinton is the asshole, and Donald trump is the dick.

 See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit! .    .   .

Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes

So far, in all the research and agonizing over candidates I've done I have to say, the pussies, dicks and assholes speech is the most intelligent and accurate analysis I've come across.
Of course, I am hoping for Trump over Hilary for purely selfish reasons. Trump is less likely to affect me personally. He also can't be blackmailed by anything he's said or done because he doesn't care, he's never danced naked at Bohemian Grove because he's not a traditional insider and ya I think he's a shoe in; barring election fraud. 

My ideology would normally lend toward voting for a pussy, this particular pussy doesn't seemed to understand what it means to be a true pussy.. And there is no hope anyway of pussy getting elected in this two genital system.  So I have to hope for a dick, which I prefer over an asshole.

I don't think I'll actually go so far as to vote for a dick, because despite it's asshole tendencies, my heart still belongs to pussy.


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