Friday, July 06, 2012

Where are all the libertarian women? I'll tell you.


I never hear the end of women complaining that men aren't involved with their kids, that they don't take an interest.*

And some don't; but maybe it's because they're human and like most other humanoid life forms they can only take so much rejection and nitpicking before they shut down emotionally. 

                                                 This guy sports a six pack and he still gets nagged

And at that point they probably do say to themselves,” Maybe I'm just not cut out for this, maybe I should just step out of the way and let my wife takeover or step out permanently, let someone else raise the kids who can do all those things the right way."

Anything that doesn't fall in line with the way things should be done according to the TV model receives the head-shaking, smile knowingly and roll your eyes, silly man just doesn't get it look.

I cannot even begin to fathom what is wrong with women. And when I say women -I mean of the finicky mainstream variety.

    I don't know her, but odds are she's not a naggy bitch

I have not come across any of this bashing among the off the beaten path types; homeschooling, attachment, crunchy, gunny, anarchists, freedom minded women. Because of the circles I run in, I rarely meet up with women, these days, who aren’t of like mind set with myself. But occasionally when I’m cornered by chance or social dynamics to chitchat with the eye-rolling, tsk-tsking species of my gender, I am reminded why. 

Generally, the only discussion going is, my husband/boyfriend is an idiot because_____. Women do this as a type of female bonding. Women who** do not even know each other will connect in a bond of sisterhood by making snide comments about their buffooning husband. 

You see, we women want protection. Even those of us who claim independence, who pound our fists and declare ourselves in control of our destinies, those of us who carry guns, run companies, dig ditches or power lift; we can‘t help it. As deeply ingrained as it is in men to dream of being the hero (just admit it, even Samwise Gamgee couldn't help himself), we dream of feeling safe. 

                               Ya, sorry about putting that song in your head

And here is where is gets fucked.


This little lizard brain quirk isn’t enough to stop us from achieving anything feminism fought for back in the day. If channeled properly, it only means that we show our husbands a little respect; that we say, Thank you when he changes the tire, instead of stamping our feet and muttering about how we could have done it ourselves.  But when television tells us that men are insulting and bullying us when they talk to the mechanic for us, we get huffy and pissy instead of realizing they are just trying to do their job.

Men can't help themselves; they want to protect; they want to provide for their tribe, their family. I'm not saying only men should work while women do housework. I mean on a very deep, subconscious level this is where men are coming from.

So what now? 


We have effectively removed our spouses as protector and provider even if only in an honorary modernized version of the position.

And yet at a deeply rooted level we still want protection.

So here’s what now.


We have put government at the head of our table.

We have put government in the role of daddy. 

So while there may physically be a husband and father in the picture, in the dynamics of things, they have been replaced.
                                      I feel so much safer knowing this giant head is here

Government protects the children with their rules and laws.

Government provides food with their little programs.

Government provides health care and education.

So if you’re wondering where all the libertarian women are, we’re the ones not laughing at our husbands.

-Tasha

*This post is a re-write of one I wrote a few years ago. After careful review, I felt the message needed repeating and also, I noticed that it contained zero swear words. I don't like to write anything that doesn't contain the word "fuck" at least once'; hence the re-write. 

** Hat tip to Grammer Girl, fucking who and whom

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

But where are the single ones?

That Girl Tasha said...

Ya- that is the hard part.

I'm always on the look out to pair up our single friends. And I do know a few. One thing they all have in common is they are all very unusual, creative people. And most of them have come from rather difficult back grounds but were able to rise above it.

Single women, I think, sometimes feel uncomfortable in political atmospheres -like RP or libertarian meetings. No one ever lets you talk anyway so it's usually pretty frustrating.

Honestly, meeting through friends is probably still the best.

One thing I know, they're not on Reddit ;)

Julia Riber Pitt said...

Your argument that women aren't taking up libertarian ideas because they want "protection" doesn't really follow, and I would argue that you're missing key elements here (like the fact that our society is still heavily patriarchal, which is something libertarians hardly ever address).

I live in New Hampshire, the state which has the highest percentage of libertarians per capita (as it has become the destination of the Free State Project). I can tell you straight-up that most of the libertarian men I know display aggressive attitudes and insist on some kind of "hyper-masculine" approach to everything. It's very intimidating.

That Girl Tasha said...

@ Julia Riber Pitt

"Your argument that women aren't taking up libertarian ideas because they want ‘protection’. . . "

That's not what I'm saying at all.

It's actually the opposite. What I was trying to say was that I've noticed over the years that republican and democrat women do a hell of lot more male bashing than other groups women.

And after thinking about it a lot, I really feel it's because when they start feeling that urge toward safety that they get angry at themselves (because they’ve been conditioned this is an off-limits, embarrassing thought) and then get angry at the guy.

The same way a homophobic guy gets angry when he subconsciously thinks another guy is cute. He represses it. He hates himself, then hates the cute guy.

I'm saying when they keep repressing it; it pops up in other nefarious ways. The most flagitious of which is clamoring to the state to make up more laws for safety's sake.

"I can tell you straight-up that most of the libertarian men I know display aggressive attitudes and insist on some kind of "hyper-masculine" approach to everything. It's very intimidating."

You'll get no argument there either and I would be willing to concede that since libertarian thinking has been shown to lend itself to a more masculine brain that perhaps part of the difference I've seen might be simply that libertarian women think more like men.

My thoughts on this are not airtight. I would be also willing to concede that it may be that the type of person who puts enough thought into their personal philosophy that they choose to be a libertarian or anarchists, that maybe they are more self aware people than someone who joins their parents party.

Dr. T said...

I have a different take on the issue of fathers and children. What I've seen in my own marriage and in that of others is that supposedly liberated women exhibit jealousy when husbands try to enter the sacred realm of parenting. These wives and mothers want their children to always turn to them when they hurt physically or emotionally. They do not want their children to look to their fathers for comfort.

These wives and mothers also expect the fathers to be the ones to step in when stern discipline is required. Dads must accept their roles as "bad cops" or they'll hear no end of nagging about how they are not supporting their spouses and not displaying a united front when dealing with misbehaving children.

Children come to accept this because they see it in their family, their friends' families, and on almost every TV show that shows children with both parents. The TV show Dad--semi-aloof, incompetent at all household and parenting tasks, the butt of jokes and insults, easily manipulated, etc.--is what our children expect. Too often, it is what they get.

That Girl Tasha said...

DR. T,

I have seen this too. I don't why it's funny to always make the dad the bumbling idiot on TV and /or the bad guy.

I also think some of that weird hyper jealousy is a bit of guilt. You almost never see jealousy that isn't rooted in insecurity.

I don't know what the answer is but I wish this was a topic that was more open to discussion. These pitch forks (especially Reddit's ) are wearing me out.

That Girl Tasha said...

DR. T,

I have seen this too. I don't why it's funny to always make the dad the bumbling idiot on TV and /or the bad guy.

I also think some of that weird hyper jealousy is a bit of guilt. You almost never see jealousy that isn't rooted in insecurity.

I don't know what the answer is but I wish this was a topic that was more open to discussion. These pitch forks (especially Reddit's ) are wearing me out.